Patrick K 'Does' Amsterdam

I first went to Amsterdam in 1999, before I had moved to London and whilst I was still living in Blackpool. At the time Amsterdam made a big impression on me. I was amazed at the possibilities, mainly hedonistic that were available at a price. To me, the fact that I was in my twenties and living in a seaside provincial town I was suitably impressed.

I recently returned to Amsterdam, some 5 years later all of which had been spent in my adopted home of London. Unfortunately this time I wasn't as impressed. I found, and like everything on this site this is just one persons opinion, it rather small for a capital.

The main area flocked to by tourists I suppose is the small section that makes up the red light district. This consists of three main parallel streets with all the charm of Kings Cross filled by tourists staring blankly like rabbits in the headlights into windows offering various forms of human and animal degradation either in the form of DVD or in a far more real sense.

Unfortunately the shock value of seeing women selling themselves behind small windows in narrow streets lit by the red lights is only fleeting. Having seen it all before it unfortunately is now the norm, or at least to be more fair, it's certainly not the norm in most places, but the expected for this area. Unlike The Reapeerbahn in Hamburg the area doesn't exude the same feel of naughtiness mixed with a general element of fear. It certainly seems a lot safer than the average night out in Blackpool.

The other main selling point for most people going to Amsterdam is soft drugs and their free availability. Ok, this is good if you want this, but if you do you are probably as likely to be able to enjoy the same thing where ever you live, although not legally. Whilst the availability and the choice may not be anywhere as large the fact that you can sit somewhere and actually listen to something that you would want to, musically, has to be a huge bonus. At least for me.

It seems unfortunately that the music played in the coffee shops and bars of Amsterdam leaves a lot to be desired, mainly made up of pseudo hippy white boy smoking weed music and some bad European rock, this very quickly begins to grate. I would like to say as well to be fair we tried for two days to find an exception to the rule but failed miserably. The best areas that we found were when we got out of the red light district and walked further into town and enjoyed some of the more scenic areas where you could sit in a bar by a canal and watch the world go by, far more cultural.

Maybe that's just me getting old or my looking at it through a twatty London arrogance, your town' not as good as mine etc. But that's my opinion. If you want tat and chavs you'll love it, if you want to be scared a bit by the night out and want a form of excitement and adventure try Hamburg. If you want a great European city there are a lot more to choose from. In fact in terms of culture offering a sex museum, is anyone really interested unless in some ways it involves them? Or a hemp museum? See earlier point and even Anne Franks house was hard to find. Amsterdam - must try harder.
On the upside though there was a man walking down the street in yellow clogs and the availability to buy a ball of cheese bigger than your head, or in fact cheese clogs: - not sure if these are for eating or wearing, maybe for both if it involves long journeys, maybe on the UK train networks. But this is certainly not to be overlooked.

Apologies to Heidi and also The Harbinger for use of italics.

Patrick Kagoul Rocktober 2004

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